Cooking in harmony
Have you ever tried getting something accomplished with someone who does everything differently from you? Usually that means you end up doing things alone, on your own. Initially it seems easier but this scenario leads to overwhelm and feelings of being 'put upon' by those around us. Sadly, I've experienced it, firsthand.
So how do we move beyond this need to control, enough to create room for collaboration? A good friend of mine once said that one of the keys is figuring out (or asking) what the other person is good at and encouraging them to do that ... AND ... and this is the crucial part ... leaving them to do it without criticism and judgment. I thought this was good advice and applied it. What do you know, it worked!
Giving people room to be themselves with all of their idiosyncrasies makes them feel accomplished, valuable, loved. The cool thing is that most of the things those around us are REALLY good at are the very things we are weak in. It's funny how that works. And once they are busy doing their thing, you can get busy doing yours and you're no longer bumping heads.
By now you're wondering what all this has to do with cooking, so let's apply this to the kitchen. One of the reasons many of us don't cook together with our spouses, partners, children, friends is that we want everything done quickly and correctly so we can get out of there. Yet cooking with loved ones can be a fun and emotionally satisfying activity! The kitchen is really a fantastic place. Think about it. It contains staples for sustenance. And if the atmosphere is right, you can impact a major foundation of health in that very room!
My husband and I are a couple who rarely travel the same road to our mutual destination. After many, many years, we finally learned how to prepare a meal together and actually still like each other afterwards. Here are a few of our cooperative cooking secrets:
Agree on what is and is not negotiable ahead of time (ex: I don't eat beef. Period.)
Recognize, focus on and utilize one another's strengths (ex: I can fit lots into very small spaces, so I load the dishwasher. He can wield a knife without losing a finger, so he chops and slices.)
If working with children, give each one a specific task and room to be responsible for it - carrots will taste the same even if they aren't cut exactly the way you cut them
Let the least picky person make big decisions too (ex: will we have fish or chicken?)
Divide the menial chores equally and swap them regularly - including shopping and putting away groceries, chopping, mixing, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning up, and emptying the trash
Play soothing background music and enjoy meaningful conversation while you work
Working on separate dishes or menu items allows you to each do your dish your way and bring your creations together in the end
Take your time but work at a good pace so the load is balanced
Appreciate the other(s) for creating a positive experience and memory
Cooking together has become an early evening activity in our home. We've learned to value one another's creativity and the uniqueness we each bring to a meal. When we sit down to eat, the food is that much enjoyable too. So, if you've got a similar situation, I hope you'll give this a try and see what a difference it makes. If you already practice cooperative cooking, I encourage you to share your powerful stories with us.
Join our mailing list to be notified of events, specials, new articles and blog postings.