Date with my fear
Beauty, Wellness & Prosperity Online officially launched today on BlogTalkRadio. BWP is the brainchild of Rhonda Kuykendall-Jabari who just happens to be a terrific woman, friend and business partner. When she asked me to be the featured guest speaker on her first show, I felt both honored and terrified! Now, I’ve done a lot of things ... coordinate local networking events, lead raw foods workshops, done one-on-one food counseling, business coaching, cooking demos, sales, you get the point. But, I’ve always avoided all forms of online audio recording (tele-classes and such). So, today was the beginning of something new. And, going into it was very frightening.
So, last night I set my alarm for 6 am, allowing my procrastinating self enough time before the call to leisurely outline answers to the proposed questions Rhonda had sent days ago. Well, I finally emerged from sleep mode at 6:45 to tackle the questions. After checking my email, sending several text messages, responding to a few Facebook requests, and obtaining the BlogTalkRadio guest call-in number, I was just settling into the first question with my breakfast smoothie at 8:07 am when I received a phone call from Rhonda tensely asking why I wasn’t on the call! Unaffected, I calmly stated, “It starts at 9”. She said, “No, it started at 8!”!!!
I called in immediately ... late, completely unprepared, and full of anxiety.
Within minutes however, Rhonda’s relaxed style and familiar voice had me at ease. With each question, I realized that my heart held all of the answers I needed. And so, I simply began to trust and submit to the process. The hour flew by! It was done. Afterwards, I listened to the recording and found, surprisingly, that all of my fears were unfounded. I loved it!
You see, I am one of those people who lived behind the fear of public speaking. The simple thought of being ‘out there’ was paralyzing. Perhaps it was that early memory of public exposure when I was about 7. Mom had enrolled me in dance class to study tap. For months I had fun just tapping my heart little out! Then the instructors began to talk of a ‘concert’ ... at Carnegie Hall ... and what a big deal that was. Being young I didn’t really understand until the curtain went up and we were facing a huge audience. I froze. The other children confusedly tapped around me until I was removed from the stage, much to the dismay of my family. Maybe that experience had nothing to do with it. But ever since then, I’ve always been content to work in the background.
Well, fast forward a few years ... It's funny how we take a single step in a particular direction and a host of doors open to us, offering more options than we knew existed. Several months ago, I was asked to facilitate an online call with BHCs. Ha! Piece of cake since the focus would be on the other founders, and not on me. My role was peripheral. Then earlier this month, when Rhonda asked me to be the first guest speaker on the launch of her new BlogTalkRadio show, I choked out an “o-o-okay”. She laughed and said I’d do fine. I didn’t believe her. Then just last week, I accepted a position as the national doula trainer for ICTC - a position that requires me to network, train, and speak publicly across the country. My husband said I’d be great at it. I didn’t believe him either but I accepted anyway, hoping to grow this underdeveloped side of myself.
You see, somewhere deep inside is a little voice I’d allowed to take up residence in my psyche. It gently whispers, ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. And I know that pushing through fear is the ONLY way to overcome it. Today, I learned that either by choice or by chance, the push IS necessary. Hey, isn’t that what I teach my clients about stepping powerfully into their greatness? Yeah. And guess what? It’s true for me too.